Reconstructing my faith has a lot to do with figuring out what I truly believe.
I have always believed that if someone took their life by way of suicide that the Almighty loving God would have understood the depth of their weakness and forgiven them. However everything the church has ever taught me is that those people would not make it into heaven. This is where I take a stand and say I disagree with those people in the church.
I have witnessed depression and have seen firsthand the struggles of people who have no hope but to die. There is so much controversy over sin and forgiveness and in my humble opinion I believe that not one human here on earth can know for a fact who gets into heaven and who does not.
We have to live with our thoughts, carry them around with us daily. If I lost someone to suicide I would need to believe that if that person had been a believer in Jesus Christ then he/she would now be with God for all eternity. There is no way that I could accept in my mind that there is a sin that Jesus' blood would not cover.
There is no way that I would ever want to be the judge of what is and what is not forgiven. God knows the hearts of all of mankind. Let him alone be the judge and you just love your neighbor.