I wonder if that was the final straw that made me surrender my will to God. It was 50 years in the making and in one day I gave up the fight and gave in to the call of Jesus. A harsh reality at first, to be alone on a day most celebrate with friends and family. A milestone turned into a millstone and I hit the bottom. It hurt. It was a slap in the face, a punch in the gut, a kick in the pants, humiliating, disappointing and every other form of let-down you can imagine but it was what was my reality.
It was also the day I decided to stop trying on my own to achieve the things I desired. It was the day I figured out that no matter how good I was, how generous or kind or even how forgiving I was, I could never measure up to the lengths Jesus went to show His love for us. He gave his life for ours, suffered and died for us. No greater love has anyone than he lay down his life for another. When I realized how pathetic I felt on that particular day, I remembered how loved I am by God and it lifted me. Love lifted me. Thank You Jesus.