I woke up one morning and Googled "deconstructing faith." I had heard it on Instagram but wasn't exactly sure what it involved. At the same time I was curious about this, I had also read about Joshua Harris, author of "Why I Kissed Dating Goodbye", leaving his wife, his church, and his Christian faith. I didn't realize these two subjects were directly connected.
What I learned is that when someone has deep spiritual beliefs and then suffers a trauma, they tend to deconstruct their faith in order to reconstruct it to fit their post-trauma life. THIS MAKES SENSE TO ME! Finally there is a word for what I've been going though. You see, I have already written about leaving the church, community, etc. after my divorce. I was deeply hurt and mad at God but I never walked away from Jesus. I just couldn't talk to him... for a few years.
Recently, I reconnected with God and have been able to start rebuilding my faith-position. I'm not there yet, but I know I still believe Jesus is God and I still believe the bible is true. However, I still have a problem with "the church" as I knew it. So, for now, I am in this transitional phase of my faith journey. Unlike Joshua Harris, I have not left Christianity, I just don't want to talk about it to people- but I'll blog about it here-yeah I see it.