I woke up one morning and Googled "deconstructing faith." I had heard it on Instagram but wasn't exactly sure what it involved. At the same time I was curious about this, I had also read about Joshua Harris, author of "Why I Kissed Dating Goodbye", leaving his wife, his church, and his Christian faith. I didn't realize these two subjects were directly connected.
What I learned is that when someone has deep spiritual beliefs and then suffers a trauma, they tend to deconstruct their faith in order to reconstruct it to fit their post-trauma life. THIS MAKES SENSE TO ME! Finally there is a word for what I've been going though. You see, I have already written about leaving the church, community, etc. after my divorce. I was deeply hurt and mad at God but I never walked away from Jesus. I just couldn't talk to him... for a few years.
Recently, I reconnected with God and have been able to start rebuilding my faith-position. I'm not there yet, but I know I still believe Jesus is God and I still believe the bible is true. However, I still have a problem with "the church" as I knew it. So, for now, I am in this transitional phase of my faith journey. Unlike Joshua Harris, I have not left Christianity, I just don't want to talk about it to people- but I'll blog about it here-yeah I see it.
"Lori's Walk of Faith" is what this page used to be called. For years I wrote about my life's struggles and how I handled them through prayer, bible reading, and connecting with God through people and nature. I transferred the entire collection of writings from here into a book. After publishing the book "From My Heart" I deleted every post from this website.
After getting divorced, I left the church and the community in which I lived for 21 years. I couldn't face the reality of all that happened. My faith was shook! My understanding of all things, shattered. I was mad at God and I was unable to comprehend how I felt about myself. It took years for me to even speak to God again. At last, I have restored my relationship with Him and am fianlly able to speak on things of faith once again. However, it is not my aim. I'm in the redevelopment stage of who I am. It's complicated. I haven't worked out all of the details and I am not 100% sure of where exactly I stand on things of faith. So, when and if I choose to share about those things, I've decided to do it here.
Thanks for stopping in and reading.