Lori Minutoli    

Writer, Poet, Artist 

Blog

Suicide and Heaven

Posted on September 10, 2019 at 11:00 PM Comments comments (0)
Reconstructing my faith has a lot to do with figuring out what I truly believe. I have always believed that if someone took their life by way of suicide that the Almighty loving God would have understood the depth of their weakness and forgiven them. However everything the church has ever taught me is that those people would not make it into heaven. This is where I take a stand and say I disagree with those people in the church. I have witnessed depression and have seen firsthand the struggles of people who have no hope but to die. There is so much controversy over sin and forgiveness and in my humble opinion I believe that not one human here on earth can know for a fact who gets into heaven and who does not. We have to live with our thoughts. If I lost someone to suicide I would need to believe if that person had been a believer in Jesus Christ that that person would now be with him for all eternity. There is no way that I could accept in my mind that there is a sin that Jesus blood would not cover. There is no way that I would ever want to be the judge of what is and what is not forgiven. God knows the hearts of all of mankind. Let him alone be the judge and you just love your neighbor.

Today I AM

Posted on September 5, 2019 at 12:00 AM Comments comments (0)

Today I am victorious, because Jesus. 


Today I have wisdom, because Jesus.

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Today I have favor, because Jesus.

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Today I am protected, because Jesus.

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Today is a gift packed with blessings.

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I need only to receive them.

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Today I AM, IN JESUS NAME 

August 23, 2019

Posted on September 2, 2019 at 9:40 AM Comments comments (0)
I wonder if that was the final straw that made me surrender my will to God. It was 50 years in the making and in one day I gave up the fight and gave in to the call of Jesus. A harsh reality at first, to be alone on a day most celebrate with friends and family. A milestone turned into a millstone and I hit the bottom. It hurt. It was a slap in the face, a punch in the gut, a kick in the pants, humiliating, disappointing and every other form of let-down you can imagine but it was what was my reality. It was also the day I decided to stop trying on my own to achieve the things I desired. It was the day I figured out that no matter how good I was, how generous or kind or even how forgiving I was, I could never measure up to the lengths Jesus went to show His love for us. He gave his life for ours, suffered and died for us. No greater love has anyone than he lay down his life for another. When I realized how pathetic I felt on that particular day, I remembered how loved I am by God and it lifted me. Love lifted me. Thank You Jesus.

Deconstructing Faith

Posted on August 2, 2019 at 6:50 PM Comments comments (0)
I woke up one morning and Googled "deconstructing faith." I had heard it on Instagram but wasn't exactly sure what it involved. At the same time I was curious about this, I had also read about Joshua Harris, author of "Why I Kissed Dating Goodbye", leaving his wife, his church, and his Christian faith. I didn't realize these two subjects were directly connected. What I learned is that when someone has deep spiritual beliefs and then suffers a trauma, they tend to deconstruct their faith in order to reconstruct it to fit their post-trauma life. THIS MAKES SENSE TO ME! Finally there is a word for what I've been going though. You see, I have already written about leaving the church, community, etc. after my divorce. I was deeply hurt and mad at God but I never walked away from Jesus. I just couldn't talk to him... for a few years. Recently, I reconnected with God and have been able to start rebuilding my faith-position. I'm not there yet, but I know I still believe Jesus is God and I still believe the bible is true. However, I still have a problem with "the church" as I knew it. So, for now, I am in this transitional phase of my faith journey. Unlike Joshua Harris, I have not left Christianity, I just don't want to talk about it to people- but I'll blog about it here-yeah I see it.

From My Heart

Posted on July 17, 2019 at 1:45 PM Comments comments (0)
"Lori's Walk of Faith" is what this page used to be called. For years I wrote about my life's struggles and how I handled them through prayer, bible reading, and connecting with God through people and nature. I transferred the entire collection of writings from here into a book. After publishing the book "From My Heart" I deleted every post from this website. After getting divorced, I left the church and the community in which I lived for 21 years. I couldn't face the reality of all that happened. My faith was shook! My understanding of all things, shattered. I was mad at God and I was unable to comprehend how I felt about myself. It took years for me to even speak to God again. At last, I have restored my relationship with Him and am fianlly able to speak on things of faith once again. However, it is not my aim. I'm in the redevelopment stage of who I am. It's complicated. I haven't worked out all of the details and I am not 100% sure of where exactly I stand on things of faith. So, when and if I choose to share about those things, I've decided to do it here. Thanks for stopping in and reading.