|Posted on September 4, 2016 at 7:50 AM|
September 4, 2016
I'm not looking for signs nor confirmation for any of my thoughts towards God. I really am just taking each day as it comes, waiting on Him and listening. The only reason I am writing each day is to have something to look back on. I'm not trying to teach you anything, and I don't have a great need to write out the details of my life like I once did. Yet "it" just happened again right now. Pretty much the same thing that happened a day or so ago.
Yesterday I spent the entire day in Proverbs chapter 3: before work, during work, after work, into the night. I read it in several different versions of the bible, a couple of study bibles and then by late at night I closed all of the books. I had nothing to write, nothing to share, nothing to journal. I was saddened by this. Oh don't misunderstand, I did in fact have Holy Spirit moments. As I read different verses and highlighted and underlined, I broke down in tears, I burst into prayers, and I cried out to God. One would think that that in and of itself was enough. Tender times with the Lord.
Yet to me those were moments that went as quickly as they came. I listened to worship music at work, after work, and into the night. I also sat in silence for many hours in between. Again, I did not talk to anyone. Prior to going to bed I Googled "life after divorce for the Christian woman."
Article upon article I felt like someone finally understood what I was going through. There was much I skimmed over because it didn't apply to me but finally I read some things that not only explained some things to me but comforted me tremendously. In a way it validated my thoughts and made me feel less alone in that area. I felt so much better after I read several pages.
I turned off the lights, turned off the phone and just sat in my room. Then my feelings were released. I again cried out to God and told Him how I felt, then I wrote two poems. One was about the flowers of my heart and soul not being watered until I cried out to God and He sent the rain. The other was about my feet digging for water like a plant in search of nourishment. Sometimes poems only make sense to the poet and those meant something to me.
This morning when I woke up I didn't open my bible because I had read Proverbs 3-9 yesterday, many times. I already know what chapter 4 is about. I also already read the Daily Bread for today. I decided to reach for "Jesus Calling" - a book I haven't looked at in over a year.
Let the dew of my presence refresh your mind and heart... As dew refreshes grass and flowers during the stillness of the night, so My Presence revitalizes you as you sit quietly with Me. A refreshed, revitalized mind is able to sort out what is important and what is not."
... Ever since the Fall, man has experienced a gaping emptiness that only My Presence can fill. I designed you for close communication with your Creator. How I enjoyed walking through the garden with Adam and Eve... When you commune with me in the garden of your heart, both you and I are blessed.... together we will push back the darkness, for I am the Light of the world.
And there "it" is once again. My poems before bed were about God watering the flowers of my heart and soul and my deep emptiness and longing. I woke up to these two devotionals and I just know God is fully aware of me.
Now I will go reread Proverbs 4 to see what it says in the newness of today. And by the way, yesterday I had the BEST day at work. I was happy and cheerful and even told the head cashier who was having the most stressful day, "I don't mind taking my lunch late, I love my job." She burst into laughter and said that made her job much easier.
3 days down, 3 chapters of Proverbs and a mystery of today to begin. That's a wrap folks.