I finally updated my Writing Notebook page here on my website. I've decided to start writing poetry under my real name so that I can share it with everybody and when it comes time to publish my first chapbook I will be able to take credit for my original work. I made the announcement on my secret poetry account that I have made a new one and will eventually move all of my work over to the new page. I also have decided to share my new poetry on my website. This makes me very happy as my website has felt useless lately. I keep telling you all about my new found love of writing poetry and now I can share it. I will be posting my work here on my writing page and also on my Poetry board on Pinterest and on Twitter.
I need to speak for a moment here about something that may come off a bit harsh. Please bear with me as I try to put into sentences what I've been trying to say for months. It comes from the depths of my heart and it comes with a lot of pain and purpose.
I have always felt like an outcast, a misfit, and a nobody. When I speak people are usually shocked at what I say and have advised me all of my life that I need to work on that. Some of you reading this included. I have also spent the majority of my life trying to please people, trying to live up to whatever their expectations of me are. I have tried and failed but I have always grown from each try.
Over the last year I have been on a journey of self discovery. It hasn't been easy but I have learned. And the time I've spent writing under secret names has taught me even more about myself. Something I've learned from the art community is that artists are laid back and open minded about others. Many artists create from a place of passion or pain. They pour themselves into their work and it releases it from their souls. Art gives us freedom. Taking what's inside and putting it out there for the world is the kind of internal freedom I'm talking about.
I know. I know. Jesus gives us freedom. I know all about the faith aspect of life. I still believe EVERYTHING. But there is more to life. You all know this. You all experience life beyond church, beyond the bible. Some of you watch television, some of you go to movies, some play sports, some play board games, some go on vacations, some collect things....lots of things. We live our lives beyond church because we take Jesus with us in our hearts everywhere we go. So, please don't judge me based on how I word things. You know me!
In this writing/poetry community I have found my home. I have found my niche. And when I speak, no one is shocked. No one looks at me awkwardly. No one judges me. I am comfortable there. I am comfortable in my own skin. I am confident that what I say matters and may in fact help or inspire others. I have taken that confidence and have decided to take it deeper.
I could not have done this any earlier in my life. The time is now. I am ready. My writing is going to be raw for some of you. It is going to make you question my intentions. It might even make you question my faith. Please keep in mind that I am still made of flesh and bone. I still have a body and a soul. I have not yet been risen with Christ in His likeness. I need to speak. I need to get some of this stuff out of me. I have remained silent too long. I have cried and cried. I have prayed and fallen on my knees and have received comfort from Jesus. He is my all in all. But I have still been silent on some of the deepest, most tender parts of my soul.
I am not writing to please Christians. I am not writing to impress my pastor. I am not writing to become famous. I am writing because I need to speak. I intend on writing without worry or fear of what you might think. Honestly, when I begin to pour out my soul, if anyone doesn't like it or approve, I would appreciate you simply unfollowing or unsubscribing. And if you are burdened by anything I write, just pray for me. Because the God that you are praying to is the same God that is giving me the ability to write. He has a purpose.
Clearly I am nervous about sharing my poetry within the Christian community. However, I've seen the negative and positive results of Christian music artists who have travelled this road before me. I have heard the comments of those judging them. I have also learned that many Christians feel that they cannot be who they are in front of their family, friends and church. Well, for me that stops now.
If you are interested in receiving my poems in your email as you do these blog posts, you must subscribe via the feedburner link on the actual page. Even though there is a link on my website, it is a separate web page.
As you can see in the photo above, it says SUBSCRIBE HERE. Click that and then enter your email in the window. Once you get the email from feedburner simply confirm your subscription. That's it. Then whenever I post a poem, you will get it delivered directly. For those who are clever enough to notice, I have made it very easy for you by including the links within this post. You can simply click the words subscribe here and you will be there.
Thanks for being interested in my life. I am honored to have your attention.