|Posted on November 21, 2016 at 12:20 AM|
I love Jesus. I want to worship Him, talk to Him and about Him, sing songs to Him and about Him, I want to be continually in communion with Him. Jesus is my Lord and there is no other for me but He.
That is the bottom line. From there all decisions I make must come. From there, I must grow- rooted in Him.
I feel an ever growing need to share this love and passion for Christ with those in need. Those dying to be loved need to know there is One who loves them more than anyone ever has or ever will. I want to lead people to Christ. There is where I find the greatest joy- always in Christ.
I have always lived with a tremendous sense of responsibility to make sure the right things get taken care of. I truly believe it is a characteristic God gave me on a primitive level that has been tragically emphasized as a moral obligation dictated by an abject society of negligent individuals. This is often viewed as a flaw by some who apply labels such as enabler or co-dependent and seen as a servant's attitude by people of faith. Most of my life I have only viewed it as "just who I am" - not good or bad, just me. Yet over time, especially in these elder years, I am questioning the true value in this ability of mine.
I have learned that all of my efforts to set things right haven't always balanced the scales of justice nor the scales of moral soundness. Many of my years of striving for "rightness" have left me feeling hurt, deprived of joy and life, and depleted of energy. Striving in any manner outside of God's will is as Solomon discovered "vanity" or "chasing after the wind." Basically everything outside of God's will is pointless.
I'm tired of this type of living. I desire that when Jesus returns for the Bride of Christ, I want to be waiting expectantly for Him. I want Him to see me celebrating our marriage with a glowing joy about me. Can you see me there, beaming with a smile about my face, a lightness of foot, a song on my lips and open arms to embrace my One True Love? I see it. It's beautiful. I imagine that Jesus hopes to find all of us waiting that way especially since He brutally bore our sins for us to experience true salvation.
Tomorrow is not a promise and today is a gift- I'm going to start living like I believe that. I am, from this point forward- each breath, each step, each minute and hour, going to live in the joy of my Lord Jesus. I am going to finely tune-in to the still small voice and seek the will of God in all things. No longer will I bow down to responsibilities nor the opinions and expectations of others. If that makes me a rebel for Christ then I fully accept the implications of that. One day soon I will indeed stand before my Maker and be held accountable. I hope to hear "well done thy good and faithful servant."
To God be the Glory through Christ Jesus.