|Posted on April 8, 2015 at 7:25 PM|
Can you recall what it feels like to be in a resting period after an illness? You know the feeling of wondering if you are really better or if you are just moments away from being sick again. It's akin to the earth in the spring season; will there will be another winter storm or will warm weather suddenly send forth the buds and blooms of spring? The in-between times are like plateaus, no highs, no lows, just waiting in anticipation as life goes on working below the surface.
I feel like that right now. Like I am in-between major trials and major victories. I am unsure if the next moment will be another trial as has been for several months or if finally things will start to turn towards the good. When you're in these plateaus you prepare yourself for either. With that in mind, I cautiously let my hope turn to excitement but only briefly. You see, hope is always in me. I have it for the little things and for my life overall. So inside me is a well-spring of excitement waiting to burst out in a glorious appearing. The outside of me: my expressions, my moods, my attitudes... all appear bland. I feel kind of blaze'. It's weird to acknowledge this. I'm not sad though things sadden me. I'm not happy, though I am happy about things. I'm not angry though there are certainly things that get me fired up and it's very ugly when I get that way.
I have many good and wonderful things happening right now. I am most excited about my short story series. I love watching the stories unfold before my eyes. So much in my stories seem to parallel my own life that I wonder if I am subconsciously writing about myself. I tell myself I am not but as I see the words come together on the computer screen, I sure wonder. I am not one to have an imagination, so to create a fictional story with fictional scenes is fun and interesting for me. When I read what I have written, it seems I can relate to much of it. It is a strange and wonderful experience for me.
I don't have any biblical wisdom to share today. I read a lot of it daily and I always find comfort in God's word but I am not moved to share anything. This plateau is quite awkward. I'll keep writing and enjoying life's little moments of joy and seeking God, and hopefully soon my spirit will burst open like the earth with beautiful flowers and we shall share in the Joy of renewed life!